Pwedeng Mangarap! :)

Unang SONA ni Pangulong Noynoy Aquino.

Mamarapatin kong sumulat gamit ang ating sariling Wika. Nakakalungkot man ang laman ng ating “State of the Nation” Address, natuwa ako sa paraang ginamit ng ating pangulo upang ipahayag sa mga mamamayan ng sambayanang Pilipino ang tunay na estado ng ating bansa. klaro, diretso, walang pasikut-sikot pa.

Inilahad niya ang SONA sa Wikang atin. Madaling maintindihan kahit ng isang maralitang Pilipinong naghihirap ng dahil sa ating lubog nang ekonomiya.

Sa mga nakaraang SONA ng ating nakaraang “pangulo,” ang madalas na nababanggit ay ang mga naipatupad, ang pag-angat di umano ng ekonomiya ng bansa, and malaking pagsulong ng GDP, at kung anu ano pang blah blah na hindi naman maintindihan ng karamihan sa mga Pilipino. Puro salita at pagmamayabang na hindi naman nadaramang tunay ng mga mamamayan.

Dalawang bagay.

Noong SONA ni Gloria: Hindi maintindihan. at Hindi madama.

Hindi maintindihan ng maralitang Pilipino ang SONA na ihinayag ni GMA noong nakaraan. Madalas ay magkahalong Ingles at Tagalog ang ihinahandang talumpati ni Gloria tuwing SONA. Kadalasan ay puno ito ng mga salitang hindi madaling maintindihan ng isang simpleng mamamayang hindi nakapag-aral ng ekonomiks, o ng pulitika. Anong saysay ng SONA kung hindi maintindihan ng mga mamamayan? At hindi maintindihan sapagkat–naghihirap ang bansa, at kung hindi ako nagkakamali 80 hanggang mahigit 90 porsyento ng ating populasyon ang kabilang sa income bracket ng D at E. Ganito ang tunay na kalagayan ng bansa, ngunit ano ang naririnig ng mga mamamayan sa ating dating pangulo tuwing SONA? Mga banyagang salitang hindi maintindihan? Mga diumano’y pag-angat na hindi naman natin makita-kita?!

Hindi madama. At hindi lang dahil sa malalalim na salita kaya’t hindi maka-konek ang mga Pilipino sa nakaraang mga SONA ni Arroyo. Madalas kasi ay pinupuri niya ang kanyang pamahalaan. Madalas ay may ipinagmamalaking tagumpay. Ngunit sa mga nakaraang taon, sino ba ang patuloy na yumayaman? At sino ang patuloy na naluluklok sa kahirapan.

Sa tingin ko, kaya nangusap sa karaniwang mamamayan ang talumpati ni Pangulong Noynoy ay hindi lamang dahil sa simpleng mga salitang kanyang ginamit, kundi dahil ang mga inilahad niya ay ang katotohanang matagal nang hinahanap ng mga Pilipino. Mga paliwanag sa kung bakit panay hirap nalang ang nararamdaman ng bawat Pilipino. Mga makabuluhang eksplanasyon kung bakit, sa kabila ng matataas na buwis, sa kabila ng ating mga kayamanan bilang Pilipino, ganito pa rin ang estado ng ating buhay.

Nangusap si Pangulong Noynoy, at ito nga naman ang dapat na mangyari sa isang SONA.

Pangulong Benigno Aquino, hindi man kita ibinoto noong nakaraang halalan, saludo ako sa’yo.

Pwede na tayong mangarap na muli. 🙂

Pilipino, tara!

PS paumanhin sapagkat matagal-tagal na rin akong hindi nakakapagsulat sa Filipino. 😦

Inception. And the fascinating human mind.

I can say my first real interest on dreams began when I dreamed about cats biting me. I was so scared and I was literally crying in my dream, screaming and asking people to help me. But the people around me did not mind the cat, nor my pleas for help. I started climbing on the tables, trying to shake off the cat to no avail. It has really sharp teeth because it managed to gnaw on my sneakers, and I saw blood!

It was weird, way weird. A friend told me about this particular dream interpretation site, and I thought there’s nothing wrong about trying to understand my dreams. It’s not like I would let bizarre explanations from a website rule my life. So, what the heck. I looked it up.

To dream that a cat is biting you, symbolizes the devouring female. Perhaps you are taking and taking without giving.

And that was the time when I did not have spare money and a friend has treated me out to lunch. There were also other indications of my “alleged” selfish actions at that time. So maybe, just maybe, my subconscious was trying to tell me about it, trying to shake me off from the selfishness! hahahaha whatever. But my point is, that was when I actually started researching more about dreams.

The dreammoods site is really kind of interesting. It has stuff about Lucid Dreaming!!! And at one point, last summer, I was thinking about following their tips so that I could experience having a lucid dream. Trying to make it a habit to check up on whether something is a dream or a reality. But, I lost interest at one point and just didn’t follow through. 😦

But dreams are truly fascinating. Sometimes, I even think that we are truly capable of prophetic dreaming, although we are unaware of our true potentials and end up with mere deja vu experiences.

I guess, deja vu comes from dreams, I think they are actually prophetic dreams that we have in the tens and tens of dreams that we actually have each night. And for some strange reason, when we wake up, we do not remember most of what we dreamed about–most especially our “prophetic” dream. And we only just remember it ever so slightly when it actually happens in reality–and poof–deja vu!!!

Okay, I don’t have any research to back that up, but that’s just what I imagine it to be! haha! 🙂

When I was a child, I would often think about our whole life as a HUGE dream! Thinking that one day, we’ll wake up and realize we’ve had a very long dream, just like what Alice had.

Anyway, thanks to my friend, Merryl, I was able to watch Inception earlier today. The intricacy of the concept got everybody talking about it for the past few days. While watching, I felt the highest form of need to really pay attention. I did not want to get lost somewhere and end up without any idea about what I just watched.

SPOILERS MAY BE PRESENT.

I liked how it did not end up using very technical terms. This allowed viewers to focus on the more important concepts and phenomena in the film rather than the scientific jargons that might deviate the viewer’s thoughts. It was a film about dreams; the intricacy of the human mind and its creation of illusions, the ideas of the subconscious and the deepest emotions–transcend plain science, as most of us, lay people, know it.

The multi-level dream concept (dream within a dream within a dream within a dream) mixed in with the thrill of the heist (reminiscent of the Ocean’s series!) elevated the plot, turning this into more than an ordinary sci-fi thriller. The human mind is something, I believe, we can never fully understand. That is the way God works. The mystery adds flavor to everything!

The cast was just great. Leonardo Di Caprio, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ellen Page, Ken Watanabe, Marion Cotillard–just the perfect mix.

Now, Nolan COULDN’T have ended the movie in a better way. Leaving it open-ended allowed the mystery, amazement, and sense of wonder to go and remain with the viewer. I bow to Nolan for this fascinating story.

And I bow to our maker, for how he designed our minds, our bodies, our world, our universe. I got no words to describe the level of amazement that I feel.

Against The Archrival

I am too depressed to consolidate my thoughts about the game.

It started great, with a thrilling mid-game tension, awesome 1st half of the 4th quarter moments, and then ended with a shadowed and lost hope. Like the game against FEU, I was also hoping for the last second miracle that I had known Ateneo for. Ever since I started watching UAAP, it was the last second shots that always made the wins sweeter. How I miss the feeling of winning that way! 😦

Marata’s 3-pointers were just unbelievable. It is their time, not ours.

Nonetheless, good game. 1st loss against the archrival after six straight wins. And it’s always more painful to lose against La Salle.

Book after book after book… and so on

The other day, I finished reading Dan Brown’s The Lost Symbol. After several weeks, I finally got to finishing it!

I was never a reader. But I guess, that’s beginning to change now. Since May, I have read 5 books already. For some of you, that might be few, or normal, or whatever. But for me, that’s already a record. When I got back here in Manila last May, set to find a job, I realized that the afternoons I spent waiting for calls from companies can be very long and dragging.

So, one day, I set off to National Bookstore near my grandma’s house (cos I stayed with her and my sister for almost a month, too). It was the National at Crossings, along Delta. To my surprise, while strolling I got to a section that sold old stocks of books. Some were previously owned, while most were just old unsold stocks. They were selling most from P10 to P30 pesos!!!!!!

So, I bought this copy of Stravaganza: City of Masks. I enjoyed it, although it wasn’t intricate and the story came as something sort of predictable for me, it was an entertaining read.

After that, I read another book that I found in Achi’s room, Stephenie Meyer’s The Host. And I actually think it is better than her vampire series! It’s got more sense and the characters have more depth.

I read Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The Lightning Thief right after. Bishi sent me an e-book; I’ve been interested in it since I watched the movie with a friend some months ago.

The next book I read was Paulo Coelho’s The Alchemist. Needless to say, the classic was outstanding, moving, touching, and yes, quite life-changing. It has gotten me contemplating about life, dreams, purpose, and my own personal legend. Quite the perfect read for someone caught in the middle of the crossroads, just like me.

And then came The Lost Symbol, a novel I was supposed to start reading last year! haha! I did not have enough time to spare back then, so I always found myself setting the reading aside. As usual, Dan Brown’s novel was intriguing. It took me quite a while to finish it because I became busy with my sidelines and the job hunt.

While reading The Lost Symbol, I find myself guessing who the traitor’s accomplice will be. The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons were just too similar, although with different themes. Well, in that area, TLS did not disappoint, it has new twists, new elements. I feel bad that I didn’t read it continuously, Dan Brown writes fast-paced plots which are more effective when read in a fast-pace, too. I have read his two other Langdon stories, and so far, I find Angels and Demons to be the best among the three.

Now, I think I am gonna start reading Mitch Albom’s For One More Day. 🙂

Years ago, I wouldn’t have been able to imagine myself reading book after book after book. But, I just don’t want to stop anymore, reading is such an enriching experience, one that I would like to be part of me from now on until forever. 🙂

And so it happened

It appears that I am leaving or have left the unemployment era. Thank GOD! I am moving on to a new chapter. I am going to earn a humble amount and the benefits will come only upon regularization (which is not yet a solid as rock possibility right now). BUT THE THING IS, I AM NOW A PART OF THE LABOR FORCE!!!

I have yet to prove myself, and I keep telling myself that this is not school anymore. In school, all you have at risk is your grade (and knowledge, of course). If you do not study, you most likely end up with a low grade. Some will say, “so what?” Some will say, bawi nalang next time. As if grades will put your life on the balance, right?!

In the real world, where we earn actual tangible numbers (moolah) and where we make our mark and reputation, we have to be more focused, more alert, more dedicated. If I had taken the value and importance of “magis” for granted back when I was still in college, I have to really take it more seriously now.

So, I will be working for a Filipino-owned marketing company that focuses on incentive programming for other companies. Not a multi-national, not a well-known brand, but one that will most likely provide me with challenges that will help me learn, grow, and gain knowledge and experience.

I believe it all depends on one’s perspective. At one point, I was overwhelmed with worry, anxiety, and confusion. But I guess, when I decided to think that this was a good thing (a great thing!), things changed. I am happy about this, thankful to God for this. And I believe He was the one who led the way for me to get this job. I hope I don’t disappoint Him (and my boss!) (and yes, myself).

And look, my Bible verse for today:

“O Lord my God, I cried to you for help, and you have healed me.” Psalm 30:2

The Lord moves in unimaginable and amazing ways. And He never disappoints. Last night, I cried tears because I gave in to confusion and anxiety. I looked up to the Lord and said a prayer asking for His ways, asking for guidance, and leaving everything to His will. I went on to do the right things to do, and this led me to committing to this particular job.

I know the Lord has GREAT and HUGE plans for each and everyone of us. We have to listen. And though it becomes too frustrating when we get stuck without any idea how to listen and how to discern, we just have to keep the faith alive and never give up. God knows what He is doing, all the time. 🙂

A Special Family

Flashback:

It was “recruitment week” (recweek) and I asked mom for money so that I could join an org. I guess it was during the open house, or the OrSem, or maybe it was even just through the university “newsletter,” that I found out about “Peers,” at that time it was still tagged as a “counseling org.”

I joined because, at that time, I felt like I was superwoman and that I have the task of helping people “solve” their problems. In highschool, I was one of the people that my classmates usually approach for advice.

Now:

But, you see, ‘Ateneo Peers’ has changed me in more ways than I could imagine. For one, ‘Ateneo Peers’ helped me see that it is not about the advices that you give your friends–truly helping your friends means guiding them, empowering them, making them realize that they can make it through, that they themselves have the power to “solve” their problems.

Peers taught me about warmth, empathy, respect, openness, and effective listening. And of course, some more ‘concrete’ stuff like facilitating, peer coaching, processing, among others. It also helped me develop a deeper sense of responsibility and professionalism.

For me, Peers is MORE THAN JUST AN ORG. Peers is a family, my family ❤

And, as a former executive officer of this organization, I am very proud, very, very, very proud to see that it has been doing so well now.

Last year, we were a struggling, newly re-re-accredited organization. For the past couple of years, Peers had struggled to redefine itself, to re-establish the organization that was once APCG (Ateneo Peer Counseling Group). We had countless of meetings with office directors, guidance couselors, moderators, and even outside institutions just so we could make it a strong organization.

People would ask why. Simply put, I believe in Peers’s advocacy. Emotional and Psychological Wellness is very, very important. It is painful to hear about suicide incidents, about teen depression, and the like. An organization like Peers aims to prevent these things from happening. Note that I put the verb “aims.”

Yes, as a small and struggling organization, we weren’t that effective yet back then, we didn’t have enough manpower, we didn’t have the machinery.

Last year, we only had around 70 members and 6 officers, one of which filed for LOA (for personal reasons that I respect). Among the 70, almost just more or less 30 or 40 were, at least, “visible.” With only 5 officers depending on each other, IT WAS EXCRUCIATINGLY DIFFICULT to run the org. Most of the time, I would take my studies for granted–thinking that one failed short quiz is more bearable than a project proposal submitted late.

But it was a real blessing when members started becoming more active, we had more people to depend on, more hands to work on projects. Most importantly, this meant sustainability.

Late January to early February this year, when more or less 16 ran for office (for the increased number of officer positions), I felt like a sweet rush of emotions overwhelmed me. For someone who saw the org dwindle down to almost nothing, this small number was like a glimpse of utopia, a piece of manna from heaven.

Baby steps. We took baby steps. And now, thanks to the lovely and very efficient set of officers, I am finally seeing the concrete possibility that Ateneo Peers can now truly and efficiently achieve its ultimate goals of helping people, changing lives—saving lives 🙂

July 10, 2010 Peers General Assembly

The GA and Phase 1 training were flocked! (of course in our standards, and in comparison to our past GAs and trainings, haha) I am so happy to see how far Peers has come! ’10-’11 EB and CB, you are doing so great (like 1000x better than how we’re doing last year)! Lara, I love you! ❤ haha

Of course, Peers wouldn’t have reached this far without each and every single member, officer, and moderator of the organization since its humble beginnings in the early 90’s (as APCG). And surely, who would forget how OSA played such a HUGE part in this “transformation.” 🙂 My utmost, unexplainable gratitude goes to all of you. (you made it possible for me to have this kind of special family in college!)

The Lord blesses the righteous. I have met some of the best people in Peers, and I believe this is why all these blessings come. 🙂 Keep Moving Forward, and Keep the Faith Strong. And like Ella says, Keep the Peers Fire Burning! 🙂

Waiting on the Lord

God sent me a very important message today, He told me to WAIT.

Waiting on God || SIA 2010

Back in elementary, one of our teachers told us that God responds in three ways: Yes, No, and Wait. I know this is cliche, like an old story we have all heard of. But it really was like epiphany for me when I read the message last night.

Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!

Psalm 27:14

It is often that I get bored easily, I am a person of action, I yearn for dynamism. And I am not used to waiting, especially without concrete assurance.

All my life, everything seemed to be spread out in front of me, and all I needed to do was to choose. Before I went to college, God gave me the privilege to choose which among the top four universities in the Philippines I would like to attend. I did not have to worry at all. And I guess that’s where the problem roots from–the pride, the confidence–we may end up relying solely on ourselves because we believe in us too much.

Now, waiting–it forces us to rely on God.

God has been calling me, but I haven’t been listening intently because I am too preoccupied with thinking about my future. I rely too much on myself. When in fact, it is only thru God that I can do things, only thru Him that I can achieve my true calling.

I remembered another verse that made an impact on me some years ago,

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

For weeks, I have been endlessly worrying about my future, about how I will be able to achieve my dreams. What I fail to see is the fact that God wants me to stop right at this moment and just wait for Him, just wait on Him. The right time will come, the right things will come. So for those who are in the same situation as I am, I advise you to stop for a while, try to listen. Maybe God has been talking to you, as well.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:31

I just have to keep on trusting Him. I have to be patient because the Lord tests me, the Lord wants me to rely on Him more. And so, I will.

An Ignorant’s Perspective: The FIFA World Cup

The FIFA World Cup finals game 2010 was the first football match I’ve watched ever.

Yaya and I couldn’t sleep last night, so we ended up turning the TV on and watching the “most popular sporting event in the world.” However, the Filipinos just aren’t hooked to football that much. Needless to say, the Philippines is a basketball country (and also a boxing nation!), and although Spain colonized us for three centuries, we never really got to associate ourselves with football!

Insomnia was what led me to watch the game between Spain and Netherlands, and although I got a bit sleepy in the middle of the game, I told myself I’d stay up to watch til the end. I didn’t know the technical rules of the game, so I was more intrigued when the two teams couldn’t make goals! I wondered what would happen if no one scored a single goal, would the game go on and on and on until one team finally scores?

And when Andres Iniesta finally (FINAAALLLYYY!) made it, I almost wanted to scream and shout. But it was 5 in the morning here in the Philippines and it wouldn’t be appropriate to go around screaming like crazy when your neighbors are still on their beds dreaming.

Yaya and I are not football fans, nonetheless, we enjoyed watching the game. Cracking up sometimes when we hear Xavi’s name, because at first we thought it was “chubby” or something like that. lol. We also marveled at the amazing cameras that perfectly captured the game, the precision, the way the motions played out on our small TV screen was just breathtaking. I also imagined myself touching the grass because it looked so soft haha! This was, apparently, how a noob, a football ignorant, reacted to FIFA.

It was actually something fresh for me. I wasn’t rooting for any team, last night (or morning) I just hoped for a goal because, yea, that would be amazing in the world cup finals! 😀

You know what they say, it pays to wait!

An Early Loss

Ateneo just suffered a heartbreaking loss to FEU (69-72), in our very first game of the season. Overall, the game was great. The fight was really close and as the commentators said, it was almost like a finals game.

I really, really, really hoped Nico Salva’s shot went in and extended the game (OT), it would have given the Blue Eagles one more chance to turn the game around. But I guess, some things just have to happen, some losses are actually “essential.”

I remembered season 71 (2008). It was St. Ignatius Day, July 31, a Thursday. Since we didn’t have classes, I was able to watch the game live. Ateneo also played against FEU that time, and we also lost.

But it sort of served as a “wake up call” at that time. It proved it was better to lose earlier in the season, get pumped up more, feel the pressure grow stronger, and keep things grounded.  At least the team’s going to have time to improve.

At the end of the season 71, Ateneo won the championship game against archrival La Salle. We celebrated with that one big bonfire at the “extra-muddy” Bellarmine field. haha!

What I’m trying to say is, this loss was heartbreaking, yes. But it’s just the first game! There’s still a whole season right ahead of us.

I almost thought we were gonna have another buzzer beater to redeem the game. Sort of like Doug Kramer’s back in season 69 (championship game 1) and Kirk Long’s in season 70, both against UST. But that didn’t happen today, and it’s okay. 🙂

The game was great, props to both teams. Art De la Cruz looks promising, Ryan Buenafe sure still got it, Nico Salva made some pretty amazing shots, too. FEU also has a lot of great players, RR Garcia, Paul Sanga, to name a few.

Next game’s against Adamson, this coming Thursday.

Well, that’s it for UAAP now. I sure missed the school spirit 🙂 One Big Fight!

But then again

But then again, I am not a bum!

After graduation, we call ourselves bums. Not a student, not an employee. Without an occupation. But my sister pointed out that I am actually not a bum, and she’s right. I may not have SSS yet, no TIN, no PhilHealth… but I am “productive.” Here’s why:

I have two sideline jobs since the middle of June:

• I am a contributor at The Daily Inquirer News Blogsite (I write under the pen name Madeline)! see
• I actually help Koreans learn English! By editing their essays, commenting on them, and grading them, I am doing something worthwhile.

I do not earn a lot. But I do not bum around either. I may not be officially employed by some huge MNC, but I am not lying around all day doing nothing. At least, that’s a start! 🙂

Now, all I have to do is pour my heart out on these things that I do. I always say that I want to give my best in everything that I do, well, these may just be sidelines–but they are sustaining me right now. Not just by keeping my finances ok, but most importantly by keeping me sane. So, it’s just right to treat them special! Magis!

Besides that, I also keep myself occupied with household management responsibilities. I do the grocery shopping, the budgeting of household finances (here in the condo), and I also have the task of keeping our mom informed about what’s happening here.

I guess it all depends on the mindset. Yesterday, I was stuck at the misconception that everyone who is unemployed is a bum. Today, I should change that. Yes, I will continue my job hunting, but–I AM NOT A BUM. 🙂 Thank you, Lord.

P.S. Peers GA this morning was totally successful. I am so happy and proud of the current officers and members. Total member base reached 101 (if i remember correctly)! And a lot of members attended the first GA.

I GET TEARY-EYED HAPPY WHEN I THINK ABOUT PEERS! ❤